Pants suit plaintiff comes up empty

Roy Pearson, who claimed his lost pants were worth $54 million, was told by a judge today that, to the contrary, his pants were worth nothing at all.

In a verdict that surprised no one, except perhaps the plaintiff himself, a D.C. Superior Court judge denied Roy Pearson the big payday he claimed was his due.

Delivering her decision in writing, Judge Judith Bartnoff in 23 pages dissected and dismissed Pearson's claim that he was defrauded by the owners of Custom Cleaners and their "Satisfaction Guaranteed" sign.

And, as Pearson should have suspected, the boomerang could be quite unpleasant.

Financially, Pearson could soon be on the hook for tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees incurred by the owners of Customer Cleaners, and professionally, Pearson could find himself out of his $96,000-a-year job as an administrative law judge for the District government.

For once, idiocy appears to be its own punishment.

Pearson, politics, midtopia